Right now my handsome lover is rocking our beautiful little love cub. This is the first time the lion baby hasn't nursed himself to sleep.
I wish I could take a picture without waking the sleeping beauty. Instead, here's a picture of him hanging with his favourite things in the world, his nom noms.
It's his dad's birthday tomorrow. Leo and I will hang out at home while Dad goes golfing, and then in the evening the little lion will hang out with his Nana and Grandpa (my parents) while we go out for dinner with Geoff's mom. We're going to his work for dinner, so I know it will be delicious. I have 15 oz of freshly expressed milk, and over 50 oz in the freezer, so maybe I'll even treat myself to a caesar.
I'm excited to go out for dinner but I'm reluctant to leave my little cutie with my mother, even though Leo knows her better than anyone other than his dad and I. She's fantastic with him and I know he'll be fine, but he is all I think about when we're apart. I'm not worried about him, I'm worried about me.
Everyone says I need to take time away from my beautiful son, but I don't want to. I love him so intensely, it's like my heart stays with him when I leave. It's like the most intense, brand-new puppy-love feeling in the world. He gives me purpose and joy. Why should I want to leave him?
I'm intensely jealous of how he stole our evening cuddles away tonight. I need to learn to let go a bit. But you've seen the picture, how could someone want to let go of that?
Kate, I hear you! Don't feel guilty for not wanting to leave him! Your his mama. I have pressure from friends and family too. "Just go out, it'll be good for you" in the end, when I do go out without the baby I come back refreshed, but it's pretty annoying when people try to make you feel like you're doing something wrong by wanting to be with him!
ReplyDelete